Monday, August 30, 2004
Eleasis 28th PM
The year of Lightning Storms, 1374
My brother Marcus
Who should judge? The actions of a person through their life should balance on a scale and when they die the scale will tell the end result. How are such actions judged though? If I was to give coin to a starving boy and he goes off to use that and kills people does my saving his life reflect me? If I spare someone’s life in combat to take them to prison or have them redeem themselves and they kill an innocent is it my fault for not ending their life then and there? If I was to spare someone and they help hundreds because they became a changed person should that also reflect on me? I dislike killing people. There have been a rare time when I have been forced to use magic to deal out death and those times weigh on my conscience. I have mastered a powerful art and death comes easily for those who anger me. I don’t think the group realizes yet the extent of my power. I shall have to keep it in check while I can. We recently helped out a family by rescuing them from slavery in some cave. In this we encountered creatures who were evil. In this I threw death in a wide spread and killed quite a few. We saved the people but I ponder at what price. During the rescue I attempted to free some men from their chains but the key was trapped. I lifted the key and sent them to their doom. Am I responsible for their death because I set off the trap? Is the one who created the trap guilty? Is the one who requested the trap and put the men there guilty? Do all three of us share the guilt? I try to do good things but somehow people get hurt. I advised placement of a magical artifact at a tower where my order prays and studies. This item that we took great lengths to turn off was taken. I could have forced a decision to place it elsewhere or to secure it further. I could have even during my vacation stayed there and helped with the defense. Instead I went to my villa and relaxed. I have no doubt that if I was there I would have not have been able to change anything. I could have tried through. My pride and faith led me to believe that the tower was the safest place. I wonder if it would have been secure even in Elminster’s tower. So the orb was taken. I feel a bit responsible that the attack on Neverwinter was partially my fault. We could have placed the orb somewhere void of life and it would have gotten taken but not as many would have died.
How to know if your judgment is correct? The other day while walking Sirrah came alongside me to talk. Aside from the surprise of her talking to me she asked a very serious question. It was about law and she was apparently pondering pursuing the path of a Justicar. She was questioning actions an how does one know if one is correct. What action is the right choice. Why is it alright to kill sometimes but not other times. I have been pondering this myself and the desire to not kill has reflected my spell choices in my research and past castings. I have began to prepare more lethal spells and one that turns people into glass is one of them. I find it is a nice balance. It makes them a glass statue so they are no longer fighting and allows us to remove magical items or at least put them in a position where they can cause no harm. It also lasts a long time so we have time to deal with other things. When the spell ends they are back to normal if the statue is still intact. One of the times I have used it to success the statue was destroyed by Gwen as she was apparently still angry at the person who held a blade to her neck. As it shattered I thought perhaps I was wrong in my choice of spells. I have used it to success against lizard folk along with some illusionary fireballs to defend us. I struck first with my magic against the lizard folk. Though I know I did the correct thing as they are evil and were ambushing perhaps I should have given them time to explain. I struck first and killed one with a lightning bolt. Should I have waited? What separates me from someone else who strikes first and kills someone? I was not really defending myself as I could have flown away. I could have used one of my many other spells to just disable him and then discuss it later but I used a more powerful spell to eliminate him. Who is to judge. I prefer not to. If I had a choice I would rather someone else with more wisdom to judge instead. While I was talking to Sirrah about that she used an experience with a bounty hunter. This guy tracked down the girl who’s family we helped rescue. He attempted to kill her but we stopped it and after some difficulty and such turned him into the local authorities. He is now in prison being held in chains. Sirrah was questioning that because she has been held in chains before and knows the experience. The guy did not kill the girl he attempted it I believe she thinks it to be a bit harsh for such. I explained her experience with being held captive helps her understand the punishment. It is difficult for me to explain I understand laws are needed and I try to follow as I told her though laws aren’t always just. I feel if she were to choose the path of a Justicar it will force her to choose between the law and the group. Another sample of justice would be the situation the group is in with a certain man named Jesse. This guy was originally a bandit assaulting a carriage for money and other valuables. We stopped it and killed most of his comrades and brought him along. The group was slightly content to leave him with us as we headed to a town. Most of the time he was not held in bonds. He attempted to rob someone and it seems we may let him go because he helped us track down a lizard man. I figure it is the people in the carriage who should decide such fate not us and if I am asked I will let whoever know of that. I do not feel comfortable around Jesse. The thought that he would kill for money does not set well with me. How does one know if ones actions are just? I wish I could help Sirrah in her quest. I wish I could give her an answer or at least some words that would help but I lack the words. My mind does not follow a straight path when I consider the subject. Though my mind also follows another path when I ponder why she asked me. Why did she not ask Dirk who obviously has the blessings of his goddess? I think in the past 6 months I have had maybe a hundred words with Sirrah. Now I will easily surpass that if we continue discussion of what is just. Who should judge and what will matter the most in the end. Judging that moment in combat and ending the persons life or letting them live and have a life in prison of suffering. Quickly killing them or giving them a chance to escape or reform to possibly either kill or help other innocents. I hope in battle I do not suffer a moment of indecision and let someone get hurt.
Until next time choose wisely.
The year of Lightning Storms, 1374
My brother Marcus
Who should judge? The actions of a person through their life should balance on a scale and when they die the scale will tell the end result. How are such actions judged though? If I was to give coin to a starving boy and he goes off to use that and kills people does my saving his life reflect me? If I spare someone’s life in combat to take them to prison or have them redeem themselves and they kill an innocent is it my fault for not ending their life then and there? If I was to spare someone and they help hundreds because they became a changed person should that also reflect on me? I dislike killing people. There have been a rare time when I have been forced to use magic to deal out death and those times weigh on my conscience. I have mastered a powerful art and death comes easily for those who anger me. I don’t think the group realizes yet the extent of my power. I shall have to keep it in check while I can. We recently helped out a family by rescuing them from slavery in some cave. In this we encountered creatures who were evil. In this I threw death in a wide spread and killed quite a few. We saved the people but I ponder at what price. During the rescue I attempted to free some men from their chains but the key was trapped. I lifted the key and sent them to their doom. Am I responsible for their death because I set off the trap? Is the one who created the trap guilty? Is the one who requested the trap and put the men there guilty? Do all three of us share the guilt? I try to do good things but somehow people get hurt. I advised placement of a magical artifact at a tower where my order prays and studies. This item that we took great lengths to turn off was taken. I could have forced a decision to place it elsewhere or to secure it further. I could have even during my vacation stayed there and helped with the defense. Instead I went to my villa and relaxed. I have no doubt that if I was there I would have not have been able to change anything. I could have tried through. My pride and faith led me to believe that the tower was the safest place. I wonder if it would have been secure even in Elminster’s tower. So the orb was taken. I feel a bit responsible that the attack on Neverwinter was partially my fault. We could have placed the orb somewhere void of life and it would have gotten taken but not as many would have died.
How to know if your judgment is correct? The other day while walking Sirrah came alongside me to talk. Aside from the surprise of her talking to me she asked a very serious question. It was about law and she was apparently pondering pursuing the path of a Justicar. She was questioning actions an how does one know if one is correct. What action is the right choice. Why is it alright to kill sometimes but not other times. I have been pondering this myself and the desire to not kill has reflected my spell choices in my research and past castings. I have began to prepare more lethal spells and one that turns people into glass is one of them. I find it is a nice balance. It makes them a glass statue so they are no longer fighting and allows us to remove magical items or at least put them in a position where they can cause no harm. It also lasts a long time so we have time to deal with other things. When the spell ends they are back to normal if the statue is still intact. One of the times I have used it to success the statue was destroyed by Gwen as she was apparently still angry at the person who held a blade to her neck. As it shattered I thought perhaps I was wrong in my choice of spells. I have used it to success against lizard folk along with some illusionary fireballs to defend us. I struck first with my magic against the lizard folk. Though I know I did the correct thing as they are evil and were ambushing perhaps I should have given them time to explain. I struck first and killed one with a lightning bolt. Should I have waited? What separates me from someone else who strikes first and kills someone? I was not really defending myself as I could have flown away. I could have used one of my many other spells to just disable him and then discuss it later but I used a more powerful spell to eliminate him. Who is to judge. I prefer not to. If I had a choice I would rather someone else with more wisdom to judge instead. While I was talking to Sirrah about that she used an experience with a bounty hunter. This guy tracked down the girl who’s family we helped rescue. He attempted to kill her but we stopped it and after some difficulty and such turned him into the local authorities. He is now in prison being held in chains. Sirrah was questioning that because she has been held in chains before and knows the experience. The guy did not kill the girl he attempted it I believe she thinks it to be a bit harsh for such. I explained her experience with being held captive helps her understand the punishment. It is difficult for me to explain I understand laws are needed and I try to follow as I told her though laws aren’t always just. I feel if she were to choose the path of a Justicar it will force her to choose between the law and the group. Another sample of justice would be the situation the group is in with a certain man named Jesse. This guy was originally a bandit assaulting a carriage for money and other valuables. We stopped it and killed most of his comrades and brought him along. The group was slightly content to leave him with us as we headed to a town. Most of the time he was not held in bonds. He attempted to rob someone and it seems we may let him go because he helped us track down a lizard man. I figure it is the people in the carriage who should decide such fate not us and if I am asked I will let whoever know of that. I do not feel comfortable around Jesse. The thought that he would kill for money does not set well with me. How does one know if ones actions are just? I wish I could help Sirrah in her quest. I wish I could give her an answer or at least some words that would help but I lack the words. My mind does not follow a straight path when I consider the subject. Though my mind also follows another path when I ponder why she asked me. Why did she not ask Dirk who obviously has the blessings of his goddess? I think in the past 6 months I have had maybe a hundred words with Sirrah. Now I will easily surpass that if we continue discussion of what is just. Who should judge and what will matter the most in the end. Judging that moment in combat and ending the persons life or letting them live and have a life in prison of suffering. Quickly killing them or giving them a chance to escape or reform to possibly either kill or help other innocents. I hope in battle I do not suffer a moment of indecision and let someone get hurt.
Until next time choose wisely.
